You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties