Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (217)

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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?

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  (217): Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up? http://tfl.nu/08g9
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  Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.

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  (217): Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not. http://tfl.nu/3f1l
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  3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.

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  (217): 3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa. http://tfl.nu/7ujo
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  I feel a five day drunk coming on.

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  (217): I feel a five day drunk coming on. http://tfl.nu/u0qx
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  Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery

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  (217): Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery http://tfl.nu/m6f7
  Replies (11) Good night (1968) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome

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  (217): the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome http://tfl.nu/yox5
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  I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.

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  (217): I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello. http://tfl.nu/7dqs
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  I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?

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  (217): I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet? http://tfl.nu/vpwn
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  He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..

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  YOU would be the Freshman Expirence

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  (217): He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that.. (1-217): YOU would be the Freshman Expirence http://tfl.nu/md5b
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  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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  (217): getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am http://tfl.nu/jult
  Replies (1) Good night (1078) Bad night (265) Order T-Shirt
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  Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL

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  (217): Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL http://tfl.nu/5sam
  Replies (7) Good night (1113) Bad night (258)
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  I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there

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  Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is

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  (708): I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there (217): Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is http://tfl.nu/zrn8
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  i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home

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  (217): i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home http://tfl.nu/a1xk
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  his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs

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  (217): his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs http://tfl.nu/kqhn
  Replies (6) Good night (1261) Bad night (213) Order T-Shirt
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  You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you

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  (217): You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you http://tfl.nu/uqrj
  Replies (2) Good night (1477) Bad night (208) Order T-Shirt