i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
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Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
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happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up