I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.