I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
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I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.