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So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Soap is not a condiment
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
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