Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (805)

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  (805): View more from California

  So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair

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  (805): So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair http://tfl.nu/hci6
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  (805): View more from California

  who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->

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  (805): who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big --> http://tfl.nu/8d2r
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  peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.

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  (805): peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees. http://tfl.nu/j4sn
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  Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!

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  (805): Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter! http://tfl.nu/vj10
  Replies (9) Good night (2338) Bad night (636)
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  she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu

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  (805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu http://tfl.nu/ucad
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Hi

  (805): View more from California

  Babe...You're really smothering me right now

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  (425): Hi (805): Babe...You're really smothering me right now http://tfl.nu/5pqv
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  (805): View more from California

  My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.

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  (805): My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping. http://tfl.nu/dvm6
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  Soap is not a condiment

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  (805): Soap is not a condiment http://tfl.nu/gm1k
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  I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.

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  (805): I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait. http://tfl.nu/wg99
  Replies (101) Good night (511) Bad night (2939)
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  (805): View more from California

  Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.

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  (805): Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer. http://tfl.nu/1b8s
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  (805): View more from California

  talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts

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  (805): talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts http://tfl.nu/n18o
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  Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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  (805): Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me. http://tfl.nu/gsfp
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  (805): View more from California

  Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

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  (805): Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with? (1-805): Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info. http://tfl.nu/n3dd
  Replies (27) Good night (397) Bad night (2388)
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  (805): View more from California

  guess who came home with a hottie last night

  (1-805): View more from California

  Def drugged

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  (805): guess who came home with a hottie last night (1-805): Def drugged http://tfl.nu/j05c
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  (805): View more from California

  As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!

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  (805): As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!! http://tfl.nu/4n3e
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