I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it