Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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