i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
