Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
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It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"