I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...