I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
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we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.