You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.