You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.