Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
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Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.