Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Georgia (706)

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  (706): View more from Georgia

  yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning

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  (706): yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning http://tfl.nu/1trw
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  dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.

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  (706): dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left. http://tfl.nu/hrhu
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  So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.

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  (706): So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/v79f
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  Did we have sex last night?

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  I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.

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  (706): Did we have sex last night? (1-706): I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me. http://tfl.nu/f9pg
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  I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.

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  I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.

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  (706): I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song. (1-706): I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina. http://tfl.nu/b2qf
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  I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.

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  (706): I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat. http://tfl.nu/8z1a
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  Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out

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  (706): Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out http://tfl.nu/wj5z
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  so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess

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  (706): so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess http://tfl.nu/py20
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  Did we have sex?

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  No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left

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  (706): Did we have sex? (1-706): No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left http://tfl.nu/lup5
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  I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.

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  (706): I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it. http://tfl.nu/ce8t
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  He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?

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  (706): He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/9suz
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  Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?

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  (706): Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date? http://tfl.nu/833l
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  I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.

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  (706): I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor. http://tfl.nu/s5q7
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  Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.

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  (706): Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line. http://tfl.nu/zp2p
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  I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.

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  (706): I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life. http://tfl.nu/uth4
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