ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.