Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.