I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
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Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic