Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.