i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
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Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.