i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.