Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
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Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis