I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"