Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.