He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.