I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
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Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.