she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas