The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.