Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.