I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Your dad touched me again.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.