He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?