I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back