I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?