How's your threesome situation going?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...