I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.