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I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
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