Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!