Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS