Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?