First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.