Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS