I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?