So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.