It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
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Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.