I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?