Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
How drunk are you?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.