TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.