I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.