Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
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I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?