Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?