How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.