So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.