He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.