We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk