I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
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You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.