Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.