If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
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Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
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He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector