Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual