I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
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Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.