Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (270)

Last Night in Kentucky (270)

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.

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(270): Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil. http://tfl.nu/p6d2

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(270): View more from Kentucky

We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".

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(270): We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots". http://tfl.nu/6unx

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement

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(270): I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement http://tfl.nu/ql20

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(618): View more from Illinois

Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.

(270): View more from Kentucky

No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.

(618): View more from Illinois

Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.

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(618): Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you. (270): No, that's okay. Don't worry about it. (618): Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway. http://tfl.nu/gcov

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.

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(270): Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer. http://tfl.nu/zy1n

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.

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(270): I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely. http://tfl.nu/i6l6

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(270): View more from Kentucky

truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.

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(270): truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around. http://tfl.nu/6rm8

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(270): View more from Kentucky

I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.

(1-270): View more from Kentucky

I miss high conversations.

(270): View more from Kentucky

Swinging. Is. Amazing.

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(270): I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high. (1-270): I miss high conversations. (270): Swinging. Is. Amazing. http://tfl.nu/qk9i

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(270): View more from Kentucky

no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake

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(270): no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake http://tfl.nu/nyba

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?

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(270): Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off? http://tfl.nu/sbu9

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(270): View more from Kentucky

You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."

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(270): You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money." http://tfl.nu/lp5j

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(270): View more from Kentucky

you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.

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(270): you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you. http://tfl.nu/d78n

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(270): View more from Kentucky

and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown

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(270): and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown http://tfl.nu/vz9q

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(270): View more from Kentucky

My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.

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(270): My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted. http://tfl.nu/nzx6

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.

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(270): Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house. http://tfl.nu/zb8n

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Last Night in Kentucky (270)

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