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Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
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