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Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
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