I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"