I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex