Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
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Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
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Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.