Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.